Its 4:40AM and I truthfully can’t believe how warm and happy I’ve been feeling. Every night I lay without you, I feel like something is missing. Every night I lay with you, I feel at peace. You have this thing about you, and I’m not quite sure what, maybe its charm. I appreciate all of the positive things you’ve been doing. Its actually amazing. Its amazing how right you make me feel. I treasure the moments that we cuddle up to eachother and listen to some of the most incredible music to ever exist. You inspired me you know, the other night when you told me I’m poetic. I love how close and comfortable we are with eachother. I enjoy how we can get into these awesome, totally in depth conversations. You really surprise me. Just some thoughts before bed.. Goodnight. <3
You know. You have a lot of god damned nerve. How the fuck do you tell me that I’m so beautiful. You made me sound like.. Like a rose. So perfect and gorgeous. Flawless.. And then you do this to me. And to top it off, this isn’t the first but it’s by FAR the worst. I’m writing out my thoughts. My heart is SCREAMING. It’s yelping for help. Because it knows what it wants to do. But my brain isn’t quite agreeing. I have zero interest in playing games. It’s one thing for you to actually do this and tell me how much you care about me and all of the feelings you have for me and say you still want to talk to me and I absolutely SPILL my drowning heart out to you and you do nothing but brush it off. You ignore me. What the fuck? Like. Who do you think you are? Do you know how badly I want you? Want us? I could sit around for hours thinking about you and what I could do to get you. I’m not going to be mad anymore. It truly isn’t worth the time or the energy. When I kissed you, you said it was postponed. Sadly, I’d like to believe that. But I won’t play second best to a girl who will never love you the way I do. It will never amount to our connection. The day we were in a room full of hundreds and locked eyes. Nothing will kill that. Absolutely NOTHING. And I know you know I’m right. I know you want me. I know you crave every last part of me. And I know that if you’re as smart as I think you are, someday soon you’ll realize that. Because I’m not going to be here forever. I’m not waiting. I’m hoping. I’m hoping that in time you’ll see everything we could have. I could mend your broken heart. I think we would have a beautiful life together. Absolutely incredible. But it may all just be a fantasy. I’m not sure at this point. I’m just going to live my life and do everything I can to look forward. I hope that our lips meet again. I’m begging that you’re true to your word and you will find me. I don’t know what is going on in your head. I know that you told my friends one thing and you told me another. I hope what you told me was the truth. I’m so crazy for you. I want us to be what I think we are. Helplessly in love. “I’ll always crush on you.” I think it’s more than that. I don’t know if I’m right, but I’m 99.9 % sure that I am. It’s almost a gut feeling. Part of me says “FUCK that and fuck him for what he’s put me through”. The other part says “He’s being really fucking stupid, but he will correct it.” The next time I think I’ll see you unless things change is February 27th. And I’m so anxious. I’m so fucking anxious. You’re fucking horrible…. but it feels like your so fucking worth this pain. Your eyes. When I looked into them the other night. Holy fuck.. They were amazing. So much passion. And your kiss… So delicious. Good lord. I can’t get over how much of a fit I felt. You said it yourself. Maybe this isn’t real. Maybe I’m wrong.. But I can dream.. Can’t I?
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
(via f33lings0rry)
1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love. You chose the short road—you fall in love quickly and easily. 2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a relationship, while the number of white represents what you expect in return. You give 100% and expect 0% in return. 3. This question represents your attitude towards handling relationship problems. You like to get the person yourself—you are a more direct person and like to work out problems immediately. 4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like to see your boy/girlfriend. You want to place the roses by the windowsill—you are alright with not seeing him/her much. 5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality. You prefer the person to be awake—you expect the person to change for you. 6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone. You chose the longer road—you will tend to stay in love for a long time.
